Still, 2 1/2 years later I find my tired mind traveling back to the first days of losing Eliza. Somehow those memories pull at me almost like they are willing me to remember. The mind is tricky; in the first moments of tragedy it is kind. Its like being completely covered with a blanket. […]

I miss my little girl. It’s really that simple. I see signs of her everywhere but it’s not her. I feel like I’m trapped in this world without her. The feeling of missing her doesn’t go away, it follows me everywhere. Sometimes I actually say the words “I can’t do this,” out loud. I don’t […]

Another year without you my love. I think of you every day, every minute of every day. I think of what you would be like at 6 years old, would you still love popcorn and pinecones (I think you would). Now I’m starting to think a lot about what you’re doing in heaven. I dream […]

It’s Christmas time, my favorite time of year but without Eliza it still doesn’t seem right to celebrate. Last weekend we had a little holiday party for the kids at the center. They decorated pinecones for angel ornaments, sang songs and then had a visit from Santa who brought presents for everyone. It was a […]

For two years I have been seeing a psychiatrist, psychologist, life coach and a traumatic grief counselor; all to help me through this journey of losing Eliza. Through it all I have prayed for peace, for signs, for supernatural healing for my heart and I have waited (sometimes not so patiently) for God to answer […]

I always wanted to be a mom. When I was a little girl, I played house with my dolls.  I would pretend to feed them and change their diapers. I would wrap them up in blankets and carry them around the house. When I got a little older, I would help our neighbors with their […]

On June 21st we cut the ribbon for the Eliza Hope Therapy Center. It was overwhelming to say the least but it was a beautiful and special day. It is the day I dreamed about all those months ago, during the hardest grief and shock I knew what I had to do. And now it […]

Just today I was having coffee with a friend and I told her about this blog post. I wrote it on the plane to Las Vegas on November 10th 2016, the day before Eliza went to heaven. I started this blog and finished it on the flight but I never had the chance to post it. I think about it some […]

A few weeks before Christmas Aaron and I received a text from our friends saying “Do you want to go to Hawaii with us the day after Christmas?” Of course I couldn’t write back YES fast enough! Hawaii has never been a place I dreamed I would ever go. It’s so far and its a […]

I miss Eliza so much and the holidays are so much more difficult than last year. I must have been in shock last last year because I don’t remember any of these feelings. This year I want to buy her presents, I want to drive around looking at Christmas lights and take her to Christmas […]