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perfect HOPE

March 2, 2019

Surviving

I miss my little girl. It’s really that simple. I see signs of her everywhere but it’s not her. I feel like I’m trapped in this world without her. The feeling of missing her doesn’t go away, it follows me everywhere. Sometimes I actually say the words “I can’t do this,” out loud. I don’t […]

January 3, 2019

The Road Less Travelled

Another year without you my love. I think of you every day, every minute of every day. I think of what you would be like at 6 years old, would you still love popcorn and pinecones (I think you would). Now I’m starting to think a lot about what you’re doing in heaven. I dream […]

December 16, 2018

All I Want for Christmas is You

It’s Christmas time, my favorite time of year but without Eliza it still doesn’t seem right to celebrate. Last weekend we had a little holiday party for the kids at the center. They decorated pinecones for angel ornaments, sang songs and then had a visit from Santa who brought presents for everyone. It was a […]

October 27, 2018

You’ve been released

For two years I have been seeing a psychiatrist, psychologist, life coach and a traumatic grief counselor; all to help me through this journey of losing Eliza. Through it all I have prayed for peace, for signs, for supernatural healing for my heart and I have waited (sometimes not so patiently) for God to answer […]

July 31, 2018

The Story Of Us

I always wanted to be a mom. When I was a little girl, I played house with my dolls.  I would pretend to feed them and change their diapers. I would wrap them up in blankets and carry them around the house. When I got a little older, I would help our neighbors with their […]

June 24, 2018

What Dreams May Come…

On June 21st we cut the ribbon for the Eliza Hope Therapy Center. It was overwhelming to say the least but it was a beautiful and special day. It is the day I dreamed about all those months ago, during the hardest grief and shock I knew what I had to do. And now it […]

June 3, 2018

Counting to Five

Just today I was having coffee with a friend and I told her about this blog post. I wrote it on the plane to Las Vegas on November 10th 2016, the day before Eliza went to heaven. I started this blog and finished it on the flight but I never had the chance to post it. I think about it some […]

January 21, 2018

A Land Called Hanalei

A few weeks before Christmas Aaron and I received a text from our friends saying “Do you want to go to Hawaii with us the day after Christmas?” Of course I couldn’t write back YES fast enough! Hawaii has never been a place I dreamed I would ever go. It’s so far and its a […]

December 25, 2017

I Miss You Most At Christmas Time

I miss Eliza so much and the holidays are so much more difficult than last year. I must have been in shock last last year because I don’t remember any of these feelings. This year I want to buy her presents, I want to drive around looking at Christmas lights and take her to Christmas […]

November 11, 2017

Love, Mama

Dear Eliza, One year without you, It doesn’t seem possible. I miss you so much it physically hurts, it really is like a piece of me is gone. But I get up every morning for you, even when I want to hide under the covers I get up because I want everyone to know about […]

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