For two years I have been seeing a psychiatrist, psychologist, life coach and a traumatic grief counselor; all to help me through this journey of losing Eliza. Through it all I have prayed for peace, for signs, for supernatural healing for my heart and I have waited (sometimes not so patiently) for God to answer […]

I always wanted to be a mom. When I was a little girl, I played house with my dolls.  I would pretend to feed them and change their diapers. I would wrap them up in blankets and carry them around the house. When I got a little older, I would help our neighbors with their […]

On June 21st we cut the ribbon for the Eliza Hope Therapy Center. It was overwhelming to say the least but it was a beautiful and special day. It is the day I dreamed about all those months ago, during the hardest grief and shock I knew what I had to do. And now it […]

Just today I was having coffee with a friend and I told her about this blog post. I wrote it on the plane to Las Vegas on November 10th 2016, the day before Eliza went to heaven. I started this blog and finished it on the flight but I never had the chance to post it. I think about it some […]

A few weeks before Christmas Aaron and I received a text from our friends saying “Do you want to go to Hawaii with us the day after Christmas?” Of course I couldn’t write back YES fast enough! Hawaii has never been a place I dreamed I would ever go. It’s so far and its a […]

I miss Eliza so much and the holidays are so much more difficult than last year. I must have been in shock last last year because I don’t remember any of these feelings. This year I want to buy her presents, I want to drive around looking at Christmas lights and take her to Christmas […]

Dear Eliza, One year without you, It doesn’t seem possible. I miss you so much it physically hurts, it really is like a piece of me is gone. But I get up every morning for you, even when I want to hide under the covers I get up because I want everyone to know about […]

November, I’ve been dreading you. I’ve watched the calendar all year, I’ve counted the days but their is no way to get around it… you’re here. November will never again be the month of Election Day or Veterans Day, my Dad’s birthday, Thanksgiving or Black Friday. It will forever be the month my precious little girl […]

Recently I was thinking about one of Eliza’s hospital stays. We had been in the PICU at CHKD for a week or so and because of the type of pneumonia Eliza had we couldn’t have visitors in her room so if someone came to visit I would meet them downstairs in the lobby. One evening […]

As I sat in my therapists office this week I sobbed. I had piles of tissues in my lap, my eyes were puffy and my head was pounding. It’s like that every week. I unload, I share things that I haven’t shared with anyone. It actually feels like work, and afterwards I just want to […]