perfect HOPE

May 3, 2021

Time Stamp

There is no time stamp for grief… that’s what everyone says but it doesn’t feel that way. For some reason as the months and years go by there is an expectation that I should be getting better, that somehow time has “healed” me, but it has not. The definition of heal: to become sound or […]

February 1, 2021

The Pursuit of Happiness

Are you happy? People ask me that question often and most of the time I cringe because I have no idea how to answer it. It seems like a simple question but for me it’s not. Webster defines HAPPY as: enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment. Seems pretty simple but of course life is […]

July 16, 2020

Don’t cry you’re fine

Since then I have always wondered why people in different cultures receive death and grief so differently.

March 16, 2020

Let Them Eat Popcorn

I just recently started eating popcorn again. The smell, the sound,  everything about it made me fall apart because all I could do was picture Eliza and a big bowl of popcorn sitting in her lap. So I have spent the last 3 1/2 years with a self imposed ban on popcorn. A few weeks […]

January 10, 2020

Collateral Damage

A few days ago I received a text from my dear friend, it read; “my daughter turned 5 today and all I can think about is how you never got to see E turn 5. For that I will celebrate today for many more reasons than just a simple birthday. Love you.” I will admit […]

November 27, 2019


When people ask “what are you thankful for?” the first thing that comes to everyones mind is “I’m thankful for family and friends,” but that always feels so obvious to me. Of course we are all thankful for the people in our lives, people that make our road a little easier. But thats the answer […]

November 10, 2019

My Sweet Eliza

I can’t believe you have been in heaven for three years. That first night was unbearable without you. I felt the strongest urge to run outside into the dark and find you because how could I be here on earth without you.

October 29, 2019

I wish I were you

I see you at the coffee shop with your little one, they are begging for a chocolate chip muffin, you say no and they cry. I want to tell you to just let them have it, that its just a muffin. I want to tell you that tomorrow the muffin won’t matter, that in an […]

October 7, 2019

All the Leaves are Brown

When I was a little girl I can remember my parents playing “California Dreamin’” on the record player, I learned all the words at a young age and have loved that song ever since.  As I was looking out the window the other day I noticed the leaves getting brown and starting to cover the grass […]

August 10, 2019

Rain on a Tin Roof

Since I’ve known Aaron he has talked about Chisik Island, a small island in Cook Inlet, Alaska. He spent the summers of his childhood on Chisik and most of his memories are from those summers.  Finally I had the opportunity to spend a week there. I would fly to Anchorage and then, with his mom […]

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