Of all the days of the week Wednesday is my least favorite day.  There isn’t anything really special about Wednesday. Everyone always talks about Monday being the worst day of  the week but at least you know what you’re getting on Monday.  Wednesday is right in the middle, the previous weekend is a distant memory and the coming weekend isn’t close enough. I mean it’s hump day… but after you get over that hump its smooth sailing right?

Last Wednesday we made the long awaited trip to Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore to meet the head of pediatric pulmonology. We love CHKD and all of Eliza’s doctors but we thought it would be a good idea to get another opinion from a doctor/hospital that sees patients from around the world. We thought that maybe getting another set of eyes on Eliza might uncover something new.

So it was Baltimore or BUST…

I have to admit that I  was a little anxious that Wednesday morning. I was running through all the scenarios of what could happen. Would there be traffic? Would we have to wait a long time in the waiting room to see the doctor?  Would Eliza sleep in the car? What if the doctor finds something bad? What if the doctor doesn’t find anything?  All of these worries had me completely on edge and it showed. So as we got on the road Eliza was asleep within 20 minutes and Aaron and I sat in silence. I scrolled through Instagram and text messages and I came across a text from my friend from the night before. We had been texting about her church in LA (Zoe Church) and it reminded me that her pastor  Chad Veach does a weekly podcast (you should really check it out)  so I decided to play one, maybe that would get me and Aaron both in a better mood. I randomly (but not really randomly) chose a  podcast from July titled “The Mess In The Middle”.  In this sermon he talks about finding faith for the middle of whatever season you are in, that the beginning of a trial or struggle can be inspiring and full of hope and in the end when you have been brought through it you are fulfilled, but what about the middle… what about Wednesday?

It takes faith to get up everyday and walk through your struggles especially when there is no real end in sight. And on this day, in the car, on our way to Baltimore I found myself sinking into the MIDDLE of all the what if’s.

We arrived at Johns Hopkins right on time, the wait was less than 10 minutes (which is completely unheard of in a hospital), Eliza slept soundly in Aaron’s arms, and the doctor  was amazing. He had gone through all of Eliza’s records, asked us questions, examined Eliza and at the end he agreed with everything that they have done and are doing at CHKD. Oddly I was confused how to feel, on one hand I was happy that CHKD has been doing everything that Hopkins would do but on the other hand I was disappointed that there was no new trial or treatment that would help Eliza.      That her neurology/epilepsy causes the low muscle tone which causes weak lungs which causes recurrent pneumonia, and there is no big cure for any of that. And so now, I thought to myself, we are officially in the MIDDLE…

But of course there is always a silver lining…

We know what to do. We have all the right doctors in place, we know how to navigate through CHKD, we have all of the medical equipment at home to help us monitor Eliza, she is happy, she is loved by many and I believe that our sweet girl is touching people’s lives.  And that makes the middle a much easier place to live.

Sometimes our struggles are so big that its hard to see around them and finding faith and joy for the middle isn’t easy. But for now I am choosing to search  for the joy and pray for the faith to get through THIS middle.

So maybe Wednesdays aren’t so bad after all. Maybe Wednesdays are where the work gets done. Maybe Wednesdays are where all the little miracles happen. Maybe Wednesdays are where we find grace. Maybe Wednesdays are where we learn the most and grow the most.

And maybe,  just maybe Wednesdays are even better than the weekend.

| I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.| ~ Romans 8:18