3 years ago in June we opened the doors to the Eliza Hope Therapy Center. Over the last few weeks I have been reflecting on this journey; on what I’ve learned, the things I’ve done well and the times I have failed. I have grown in so many ways but I still have moments that I question everything.
I’m now starting to watch my friends children grow up. I watch graduations, and weddings and babies being born and I’m becoming deeply aware that our family ends with Aaron and me. Our daughter will not walk across a stage and receive a diploma. She will not grow up and get a job, or start a family. I know that none of these things are a guarantee for any parent but realizing there is no chance is truly the greatest tragedy.
There is a song that I love, it’s called the Blessing. There are dozens of renditions and during quarantine a group of different churches in The UK put together a beautiful rendition through zoom. I played it on repeat for months. There is a verse in the song that is repeated 5 or 6 times and each time i hear it it puts a lump in my throat. We recently sang it at church and as hard as I tried I couldn’t hold back tears.
“May His favor be upon you
And a thousand generations
And your family and your children
And their children, and their children”The Blessing~Elevation Worship
I kept saying to myself, I won’t have generations. There will be no children and their children and their children.
I ran into a good friend recently. She was the perfect person to talk to about this. I told her how I was feeling and she quickly told me to not think of word children to mean our biological children, that generations didn’t have to mean grandchildren and great grandchildren. That it is so much more than that. It is the lives that we affect through our stories, the lives that our changed through the simplest acts.
Over the last 4 years The Eliza Hope Foundation has touched so many families, so many children. Through all of our therapies and programs this year alone we have seen 180 children. That’s 180 children who have in someway been touched by Eliza’s life.
I know that I will never have grandchildren or great grandchildren. My story looks so different than I had ever pictured. But it is beautiful, and one day it will be a thousand generations.